thoughts...

i saw jia hui's blog just now... feel so sad for her... i mean althought i haven had any bf that just entered army, but i do know that even after 1 year, they can still be very busy until they ORD... but i have to admire her... she has so much more willpower den me... but of coz her situation is different den mine... but sometimes i really do wonder... what if i had hang on... would i be glad that i did, would he treat me better? or would i still be equally as heart ache as i was... i really wonder sometimes... but i suppose, i cannot turn back time, i can just wonder... the other day he kept msging me... ask me whether i ate breakfast, lunch and dinner and asked me how my day at work was, den he told me what he was gonna do for that day... *laughs* sounds like when we were together that time... he would ask and tell me the same things... but to tell u the truth, i really had no more feelings but u know, just that feeling of "what if".... but beloved ppl, in case u are worried that i will go back to him, dun worry... i dun have anymore feelings for him... even if i do go back to him, i will not be last time to worry and cuz sleepless night over him anymore... that i promise to u guys...

today i picked a fight with u again... i dunnoe why i keep doing that... but it seems that u are just there for me to take my temper out on... but u still ask me to forgive u even though it is my fault that i started the fight first... okie lah... maybe i am pissed that u didnt talk with me when i am bored and doing nth... wanting to find someone to chat to... den by the time u came down, i left already... too bad, u wanted to give me a surprise and in the end, u come all the way down, didnt get to see me and get ignored by me... everytime i try to pick fight with u, u end it quickly with a sorry and forgive me k... and it makes me feel so guilty... why are u treating me so good??? i am not yr gf... i told u that today... and yr reply was... "not stead or not also cant treat u bad what... stupid gal... i'm sorry, forgive me k.." u dun treat me bad... i treat u bad... if u werent that short or skinny(abit bad i know but he is my height and skinny mah), i think we would be together le... u are all i really like in a guy but unfortunately, life has it that we cant... and i think it is a weird friendship we are in... i dunnoe... i am not attacted to u but it is just weird... bleah!!!